Posljednje viđen/a Prije 1 mjesec
Porn Lover
163 dana na xHamsteru
614 pregled/a profila
69 pretplatnik/a
63 ostavljena/ih komentara
Osobni podaci
Ja sam:
Sinner, 22 godina/e, muško, heteroseksualac
Iz:
Safety, Alžir
Tražim:
Žensko, nisam siguran/a
Interesi
i fetiši:
i fetiši:
O meni
Jesus answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”
Komentari
39
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
Hi, next time I come back, I will dispose my final thoughts
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
I cheated and watched, but I don't despise myself any longer for falling. I know that I am just ill and that all I need is more treatment (spiritual as my illness), I spent so many years of my life in lust I don't expect myself to change overnight because from time to time I forget the new lessons I learned and go back to my old ways, but it's okay as long as I admit that I'm in the wrong.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
Matthew 7:3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 Ye hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
:heart: P.S: I'm no better than you :)
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
it just isn't my place.
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
we spoil beauty by our hunger, I couldn't finish a single tape, sex is intended to be a connection, I'm isolated in this, I'm not having real sex, nor would there be so many people on screen sharing what they're doing if there were not people like me, I don't want to harm people and myself any longer. I still love you all and respect you, after all we all have the same urge, some chose to do it publicly, I'm only against masturbating over what others do, because if I was a guy on camera I wouldn't like the fact that my actions are going to more deprive a large portion of people (from enjoying what I enjoy) due to the way they perceive it, maybe sharing intimacy is okay, but we have to admit that it is ahead of us, and living in fantasy isn't going to help us shape what we perceive as good future but working into it does and if abstaining from it is a step forward in achieving it then it is worth it. Peace
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
I had an experience with this part, during hardship, I was reassured that the tribulation will pass, but what matters is how I handled it, was I awake and prepared or lost and hopeless, salvation is at hand we just need to be prepared for it, I might be wrong, definitely, and I need help and I should seek it.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
Because of how intense this period is, I can't fathom fantasizing as I used to, and I keep constantly reminding myself of Jesus, and when he was surrounded with all different type of sinners, did he engage with them in sin just because he loved them?
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
testing myself with a video as this is expected to be the last night, I just remembered that having a pleasure with a female is the last thing I need in the main time on top of that I'm not even achieving that, because there are more things in a relationship than sex and I haven't worked on anything plus an intimate relation isn't really a life goal. To be continued?
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 2 mjeseca/i
I fell again, but reading through what I wrote before gave me insight on what I went through and how I wanted to be healed, I'm not saying I won't fall again, but not tonight, and I will never test myself again, I'm weak I admit. Guess bye...
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
and never let my imaginations or third-parties decide what I do with a female except her. Till that time, I am the virgin that isn't desperate for sex. I don't know if I should go to the extent of removing my whole account or just conduct few changes.
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
So, I think I should start anew, clear out the self-satisfying fetishes that pretends to be the opposite.
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
Jesus is God's word in flesh, I obeyed the flesh's desires so much that I keep this delusion, my delusion of adoring the female to the point of fantasizing about not even penetrating but merely pleasing one of them even orally, but as I'm glazing at bare flesh I tried capturing the divinity in it, it sounded like if I ever existed for serving the divine then I am straying away from my goal of serving the divine by wasting the function granted to me by the divine, if I love the female to the point of wanting to serve her I should strife to do exactly that, not get myself served by females filming themselves (and here lies my hypocrisy).
Odgovori
V
VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
I perceived femininity as a trait belonging to the world and life, so for the sake of how life functions I wondered if what I am doing with my self is pro-life, am I praising life the way it wants (female wants) or am I selfish by loving only life for me, there are many females (heck even males, after all we are all humans but sexualization had ruined me) who make other great content am I listening to that? or what about the possibilities awaiting me with a woman to be in her life if I quit hiding in my asylum.
Can I keep my eye healthy until I retain my pre-puberty sense of the world? Will I then prevent the slippery slop and ascend to a better sound state of mind. No question mark, if I never came back that means I'm really done.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
Matthew 6: 22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!"
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
And just as many law makers, I decided wrong from right and I was the first to break my own rules, but after all of this thinking I started to feel disgusted over myself whenever I reach post-cum clarity, there was a time when I lost that because I supported hedonism and loved it, however what makes me disgusted now isn't the reasoning that porn is ugly and I shouldn't be doing that but it's the fact that I've upheld some high principles yet I couldn't keep up with them. Feel like a hypocrite.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
Sorry if what I am writing here is confusing but I want to mentally heal myself by changing the way I perceive sex.
I want to have the good eye that looks for the spiritual gain, not the bad eye that sees to feed the lust of the flesh, when I observe femininity I don't want "fucking" it to be the first idea that prompts into my mind, or ever does, I want a reason stronger than "being able to" to make me orgasm
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
If I were to love others I wouldn't be selfish for a bit nor holding my love back, if this applies to my emotions towards the feminine - then I should not expect to be serviced by others femininity just because I'm exposed to it, but instead I would want them to feel safe to indulge themselves while being around me, and for that I would need a sound mind to support others and to be all available for the one that needs me.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
I have so much emotions repressed in me that I prefer to let them all out whenever I give. And having someone to dispose my feelings is the new requirement for my pleasure. I won't be pleased less I pleased. My energy should fill into a purpose, and only that purpose should deserve my dedication. Under this law it isn't befitting for me to enjoy any women unless she desires me back (definitely not the ladies I watch here cause they don't want me).
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
it seems that I love darkness
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
it seems that I don't want to be cured
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
Now this should be my last visit, I learned that if I gave emotions as great value I wouldn't be wasting my energy seeking emotions from strangers on a screen. If I truly loved these people I am watching and supporting then I shouldn't lust after them, I don't want my sexual appeal be exclusive but I want it to be as inclusive as it can be, and if I'm able to overcome lust even when exposed to sexual acts then at least I have achieved a good outcome out of my masturbation-porn addiction.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
But am still a sexually active male in the end of the day, if I was sitting in a vacuum and started to stimulate my organ, it will eventually become hard and ejaculate, however I should not let my hand go down there nor my thoughts to sink lower.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
imagine if female anatomy or sex in general was a disclosed matter for me before I went through puberty and began discovering it on my own, probably I wouldn't be so shocked from seeing female body, I wouldn't consider sex as a taboo, but regardless of how messed up I can still be born again and have a new mindset.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
I watched some porn again, but this time it was boring. I no longer want to imagine or watch I want to have, and I need to work on couple of things in order to achieve it, first thing is preserving this asexual state of mind.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
in the course of seeking satisfaction through a vagina I sank in error while being denied, if am denied salvation then I shall still seek it just for the sake its path, I figured that if I was a vagina, I wouldn't have worshipped myself, if I was like Jesus I would've served those in need, if I was a vagina serving, I wouldn't serve my current state. I must give and deserve to receive. Wanting anything for granted is fool, it made me demand and not utilizing what I have. Maybe it's just me, maybe porn is good, but it ain't my kink anymore. I hope so.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
If this works out for me, then at least I have protected me from being manipulated by sexual desires and seducing others of course. This isn't the path that I want.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
Now reading my previous notes, I laughed at what I did out of despair, it's not about boner control but rather mind control, my boner is all free, I can touch it, but as long as my mind doesn't flow with it; I can watch another male's boner penetrating a vagina without mine even flinching.
Odgovori
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VaginoSlav Domaćin Prije 3 mjeseca/i
"good for them! but what I am doing is not good for me, am lusting over their share not mine"
Odgovori
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